Having trouble recovering

i have just about out of debt. I have 10 k put away and yet I
Don't have the motivation to workout , learn new things or just wake up..

These last 5 years were soooo difficult ... That I don't even know how to share it

I don't know how to make commitment , or even workout... I just feel nothing will last

There has been so much change .... Farmers , paramount , solar city , smart Enegy , sun power
Sun run, sun solar , PetersenDean ... Then watching at my new company them fire people left
And right ..... I fixed my eyes so much on on work that my health deteriorated but what choice did
I have I was in 42 k of debt with no health insurance ..... I had terrible acid reflux , a wheat and dairy allergy , a hernia, asthma .... I had no clue I had any of these .... How was I suppose to work out i tried.....
........... I am hurt Lord..... I learned a ton from this but i don't know how to swallow it all .. I know you are good but I have trouble seeing why so much of this was necessary ...

I know the heart is your focus and mine is having trouble beating any more ... I don't know at all
What tomorrow brings.... Jesus I want to wake up excited again, I want to rest again , feel like
My future is hopeful .... I know the answer is don't put your hope any nothing but you ... Lord
The truth is I have had this message so far drive into me that I don't know how to get pleasure in anything that is not long term ...... This is painful to swallow..... Please fill me up Jesus....


Lord just so you know ... You are my love and though I don't unders the last 5 years
I am very thankful for them... I know your hand protect me and that your word is good
And you will finish the good word you started in me ! May your kingdom come !!!!