Confused

I have felt quite worthless lately... The more i read the world.. The more i seem to feel inadequate and worthless.... This is one of the reasons i distanced myself from God in the first place... I felt that in God i suck.... Its like i seek riggneious but i fall so short.. I keep analzying past parts of my life and future parts.. I have always been so hard and myself and it now is getting worse... I need to start building myself up instead of tearing myself down.. yes im a sinner but im forgiven i seek rigenious but i must trust that God is working in me... To be mad at me now is to be mad at God saying he is poor at working.. Im his and i put my faith in him.. I am no longer going to worry about sin or past sin or future sin.. I am going to live in the moment and build myself up.. I am going to be a strong tower of joy because God has chosen me... GOd will lead me in the moment.. I cant go my whole like living in guilt and blame.. no where in the bible does it say to do this.. These are lies trying to distant me from Jesus... I rest in love... i rest in jesus.. I love my friends, i am always there for them, i bring joy to the room, i am usually non judgmental, i am loyal, funny, random, spontaneous, full of great knowledge and i am GOD incrediable work in progess. :)