My mom has been the start of an unhealthy pattern... My obsession with trying to not offend others.. Growing up my humor which was my own self amusement was constally offensive to her. I was and to this day have to watch what i say to my mom or even thought of being dismissive without the worry of her lashing out.. A good example of this was at the hospital when she was being un reasonable. I told her to calm down and she lashed out. She said never speak in that tone... My mom is so freakin easily to offend that i consally worry that i am doing it to others. I hold back from my true persoanlity because i worry that others insecuriteis will take offense to my geuine enjoyment. I need to positve reinforcemyself- I never would try to hurt peoples feeling and if it happends its on them for having that insecurity. I can no longer cater to their inseucruitries or hold back my true persoanlity cause i am worrying of being offensive.. I am not offesnive dude i am one of the most loving people on the planet.. I am done worrying about offedning others and when or if i do it im not alzyuing shit.... From practically dying i have now reealized that some people read into shit that really doesnt exsist and i have out it on me to figure out... I dont want to live this way any more.. If others take offense to me its on them...
Self love is the only true love i can give myself apart from christ
Christ is my king
Mark
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