A clear picture

My view of myself has been so puzzled lately... From being this adventerous guy to being the guy with the chicks.. I ask myself what do i want? What do i inspire to be? Lets take each

What do I want- I want an awesome girl that wants me. I want to be honest about my past and not be ashamed. I want to be honest about my epereices but i need to make it clear what that is

My past- I was a guy that learned social dynamics.. I love it and still do. I am not a pick up artist. I am not the ultimate ladys man.. I don;t care to be that.. I do care and have inspired men to push their boudaries and live lifes that are way beyond their beliefs.. I do not have much sexual history? Why? I care to share my sexual expereices with people i love. The world i come from would make fun of this? But there is no shame in choosing to be selective. I am going to begin to be honest about this with anyone who ask.. What shame is there? My past idenity would attack this.. I am not going to lie anymore about this area.. It saddens me when i do...

So what do i want now in life- A great girlfriend, a life of new expereicnes, friends to enjoy, a life of finacial abundance...

Why have i exagereated my past and been on such a idenity quest- I never understood why women found interest in me and then lost it.. I began to find ways to create false beliefs.. I look in every area and began to lie to make others view me differnt... The fact is i didnt know how to turn to a sexual gear so instead i created a past idenity that made me sound like i did.. I realize through my bootcamp that as men we are to listien to our hearts and not be ashamed that we have a penis.. Its what helps create sexual playful tension.. I am finding i dont have to be as lound anymore or get everyone to react to me... Before i though this was the only way to get the girl... Now i truelly feel one on one its a done deal.. I just listien to my heart and switch gears.. They call it intent in social dynamics and it truelly is.. Its slowing this down and just letting your physical side lead you for a bit... Looking into the goregoues dialiated eyess... Looking at her breast.. Massaging her ass ... Touching her beatifull hair.. Letting her know why you enjoy her... Touching those smotth creamy cheecks... The entertainenman decides to let them all laugh and enjoy them selfs.. Maybee its a choice he likes people happy coool.. But at times there is nothing greater then letting a girl know that you are enteratined by her beauty... That you dont want to just be a friend you want to be the guy that gets her panties wet...

As for me- I enjoy being playful but i enjoy sexual tension.. I enjoy that girl knowing that i like her :) Its not that i am obssed with sex in fact its quite the countrary.. I am lvoe with her female bipoloarity.. The way she smells, the way she trust my arms.. the ways she lets me lead her.. How she knows that with me she is safe.. This is truely why i love women :) And i want to share that with a women i care about :)

I am her fun buddy absoultey :) BUt i am her lover as well :) I didnt have this before because i didnt listiein to my intent :) THose days are far gone my friend and my need to be a ladys man really dies down...

So what now? Well i do love social dynamics but mostly i love seeing men reach their dreams.. I love to let a dude know that he is so much more then he was told he is.. I want him to know that truely he is the shit.. And that the girl he likes cant wait to be in his arm... I want dudes to know that they are limitless :)
- I am also developing a desire to build a marketing career. It is time to listien to this calling :) I will be looking for a job to make this happen..

My poker carrer is dying down :) The desire isnt there and i feel myself wanting to be out more and more... It doesnt sadden me that my poker carrer is getting less and less it excited me. I have always seen poker as a wonderful oppurtunity but the time to move on is comming soon :)

So what about europe- It will come in due time.. Why do i want to go to eurpose so bad.... I geuss i wanted to run away and sound like i was living in epic life.. The facts are i have one year of school and why not make this epic.. Not because others think its cool but because i enjoy it :)

Will i do night clubs ? Yes... But no not as a pick up artist.. Not for practice.. But for pure enjoyment of being social.... Will i go solo? No... It is hard and to be honest my heart is not there.....

Organization :) Wow this area is getting beefed up... I will be up at 9 am every morning... I am going to live off 2 calenders.. One in my room and the other on google.... I plan to do activies constally and be disiplined enough to stay on budget.. This only comes with discipline and its that time :) I will be the gym every morning :) My reading will come before i go to bed :) I said 300 pages and i meant it...

SO my wants- A completelly breath taking girlfriend, to get a marketing job, to be working towards inspriing inner confidence in men, creating a success online business that makes over 1k a month :) Dog rakeback could be that :)

WIll i play poker- Yes but not building my carrer like it used to so not as much..

In my head-- I put to much thoughts on girls i crush on.. THe fact is i am a cool dude that should not limit himself to one girl until he chooses one. Don't think about just one.. In fact just enjoy their presenence when your with them.. Be honest and always listien to your heart..

And rember dont try to impress girls.. Just impress yourself

I am truely proud of myself :)

Mark David Watson