Having trouble recovering

i have just about out of debt. I have 10 k put away and yet I
Don't have the motivation to workout , learn new things or just wake up..

These last 5 years were soooo difficult ... That I don't even know how to share it

I don't know how to make commitment , or even workout... I just feel nothing will last

There has been so much change .... Farmers , paramount , solar city , smart Enegy , sun power
Sun run, sun solar , PetersenDean ... Then watching at my new company them fire people left
And right ..... I fixed my eyes so much on on work that my health deteriorated but what choice did
I have I was in 42 k of debt with no health insurance ..... I had terrible acid reflux , a wheat and dairy allergy , a hernia, asthma .... I had no clue I had any of these .... How was I suppose to work out i tried.....
........... I am hurt Lord..... I learned a ton from this but i don't know how to swallow it all .. I know you are good but I have trouble seeing why so much of this was necessary ...

I know the heart is your focus and mine is having trouble beating any more ... I don't know at all
What tomorrow brings.... Jesus I want to wake up excited again, I want to rest again , feel like
My future is hopeful .... I know the answer is don't put your hope any nothing but you ... Lord
The truth is I have had this message so far drive into me that I don't know how to get pleasure in anything that is not long term ...... This is painful to swallow..... Please fill me up Jesus....


Lord just so you know ... You are my love and though I don't unders the last 5 years
I am very thankful for them... I know your hand protect me and that your word is good
And you will finish the good word you started in me ! May your kingdom come !!!!

God is training Me

This life is about God Training us for the next life. He is giving us the Kindom and we will rule with him. We will have free will in heaven but we wont sin because we learned our lesson on earth and no longer have the flesh, or the devil to tempt us.

I have been looking for purpose in this life lately. What God has called me to? Growing up i never got excited for materilictic stuff and that is the same now. Dont get me wrong i like efficitely and things that help me with that but for the most part it doesnt drive me... Then when it comes to business and being a big busienss man... This is a gift but latley the motivation is not there to rule a huge company and makes tons of money....

What excites my heart is God Training me in this life for the next one ... That means having a well balanced life.... That doesnt mean just doing work and neglectrcing the other areas... God wont just have me working in heaven!! no way....

I will have a body in heaven and its vital i take care of it! If i dont take care of this body, then i wont be ready for the body he is going to give me in heaven

I lack community right now and i am seeing how impportant it is to have. If i dont have that, how will people hear about Christ, how will i get fed from them as well?

I need to develop my mind, i have not been very interested in learning much lately. If i dont learn good habits of devleoping my mind here on earth,  then i will have a larging learning curce in heaven...


My big point is this is the training ground here on earth... God wants to mold me and like Jesus said... What we do with the tallon given will have a big effect of what he allows us to manager in heaven... I have no clue how small or big of token he has given me... But i do know i want to spend the rest of my life being wise with the tokens he has given me...


My body is a temple and i need to treat it like so- Feed it well, cut out porn, rest well, excersise,

My mind- Lets fill it with life by learning things about GOd first.....

Work- Lets be dilligent when i am at work.. Work is a training Ground for heaven.... I need to do it effiectily and submit to those that God has put as higher rank them me...

Community- Lets get apart of the church, These our my brothers and sisters and I NEED them